Path
by therapist
Summary: The façade about most relationships is that you only see what people want to portray but it's never that nice or neat. This looks deeper at those relationships and what happens when it all comes crumbling down. Slow burn. Pairing: S/J, R/R, R/S, and others
1. Choices

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men or any Marvel character. I make no money from this; this is purely for enjoyment.

Summary: The façade about most relationships is that you only see what people want to portray but it's never that nice or neat. This looks deeper at those relationships and what happens when it all comes crumbling down.

This takes place several years after the end of the series; most of the original X-Men are 20+, so there will be adult themes in this story, along with swearing, infidelity, and death. Warnings will be posted before each chapter when they contain triggering content.

XXXXXXXXXX

 **Path**

'Choices'

By therapist

People say that you don't really forget your first love and she was inclined to agree. The new sensation of butterflies when you hear his voice or even a chuckle, how conversations could be about everything and nothing at all, how a slight touch could ignite your skin, better than imagined, she remembered it all. People thought that Remy was her first love but he wasn't, it was Scott. Despite being so different, they had many things in common too. From loving cheesy B-rated horror movies, their mutual hatred of celery, love of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and their biggest connection was their inability to control their powers. With Scott, she could talk about her lack of control, her fear, and anger. He understood and listened; often he would talk about his problems with his powers. There was no pity from him, but understanding and acceptance. Whenever she tried to talk to Remy about her problems, he would counter with a joke but she knew that that sort of talk made him uncomfortable. So, she stopped talking to him about her problems and went to Scott instead. That should've been a signal that things weren't all that great with her and Remy, that maybe they shouldn't be together. Instead of listening, she remained with Remy, while beginning a relationship with Scott. It wasn't a physical relationship (not that she could be physical with anyone), but not all relationships deal with actual touch. She was cheating emotionally on Remy; she felt guilty all the time, but she didn't stop, she didn't _want_ to stop. Despite her best effort, remaining casual with Scott was hard, it was just so easy to fall in love with him.

It was Tuesday, which was their "day" to watch whatever horror movie they could find on Netflix. Remy was off doing whatever he does. Remy didn't enjoy how much time she spent with Scott but Rogue didn't care anymore. That was the state of their relationship. She had complained constantly about Remy flirting with all the women (in the Institute and out in public), especially Jean and extra especially in front of her. Every complaint was brushed off, him saying that it was just for fun. Over time she just stopped asking, her anger turned into indifference. Now whenever he complains about her with Scott, she repeats his words to her.

"It's just for fun," she retorted as he complained when she told him that it was movie day with Scott. She knew it was childish but at that moment, it felt good to throw his words back in his face. Just before she went to the game room to meet with Scott, she saw Remy with Jean, laughing and touching her arm. Jean didn't brush off his arm but leaned in close before they both started a fresh bout of laughter. Rogue knew that show was for her from the side eye she got from Jean. They were never close but their relationship was much worse off. Jean never out rightly stated her displeasure of the amount of time Rogue was spending with Scott but there was coolness in her voice whenever they spoke. Their interactions were kept to a minimum, as they both went out of their way to ignore the other.

But now, she was sitting on the couch, with her knees tucked under her, but the fact that both Remy and Jean hated this had no effect on her. Scott was sitting in front of her on the floor and had picked a movie about a genetically mutated shark and it was horribly good. All the crying laughter had forced her to remove her makeup but she didn't mind being bare in front of Scott. _You've never taken your makeup off in front of Remy_ …That was true, Remy never saw her without some sort of makeup on. Recently, all these sort of comments would speak in her mind, usually comparing Scott to Remy and it was never in a good light. Again, she tried to deny what her head was telling her; she didn't want Remy, she wanted Scott. That sort of thinking was dangerous but she couldn't stop her mind from wandering.

"You're not watching," he remarked from the floor, him still watching the movie.

"And how would ya know Summers? Yar not even turned around!" she commented. She could feel his smirk and he turned to face her. Sure enough, there was a cocky smile gracing his face.

"I was right though, wasn't I?" he countered. She fixed him with a glare, which only widened his smile. Trying to remain firm, she couldn't stop her scowl from changing into a smile. "I'm getting faster."

Her head tilted inquisitively.

"At turning your frown into a smile," he answered.

She tried to wipe her smile off her face but looking at his smiling, adorable face wasn't making it possible. "Shut up Summers and watch tha movie!" Her words were harsh but she made sure to add lots of sass. He laughed, before turning his attention back to the movie. That was another thing she liked about Scott, he didn't get offended with her words like everyone else. He understood her sarcasm and wasn't put off by her sometimes-sharp retorts. _Remember that time Remy got all pissy with us when you sassed him?_ Sometimes she hated how the voice brought up memories she didn't want to relive. That particular memory was quite nasty, leading to their first 'break', though a week later, she had apologized and they ended up back together.

A hand on her leg broke her from her thoughts. "Are you okay Rogue?"

She gave him a soft smile. "Just thinkin' of somethang," she answered.

"Remy?"

She nodded. "Ya, he wasn' too happy with us watchin' tha movie together."

"We can stop, if you want," he offered.

That was such a Scott response and she said so, earning a chuckle from him. "Do ya wanna stop?" she countered after he quieted down.

A venomous headshake was his answer. "I look forward to this all week."

That answer filled her with warmth and elicited a genuine smile. "Good, Ah look forward ta this too."

"Then let it be heard! From henceforth, all subsequent Tuesdays shall be movie nights!" he proclaimed, standing up and posing with hands on his hips.

"Dork," she responded, in between laughs. Scott took a bow and instead of going back to his original spot, he sat next to her. This wasn't anything new, they sat next to each other many times but this was the closest he has been to her. Proximity to other people was something that she was aware of most of the time, with her personal bubble being around a foot. With Scott, she didn't mind when he invaded that bubble. She could feel the heat from his leg as it touched her jeans clad thigh. They watched the rest of the movie, sitting next to each other, Scott enjoying the movie and Rogue enjoying the Scott's closeness.

* * *

He was flirting with Jean again, in front of her face. Jean giggled as Remy complemented Jean's short summer dress. It was white, with a smattering of yellow, red, and pink flower and it was beautiful on Jean. Though dresses weren't her thing, she did wish she could wear something beautiful like that sometimes. _But you can't, or else someone might die if you do_. The flirting along with that reminder set her in a foul mood. After Remy complemented Jean's pristine, long, model-like legs, Rogue had enough and left the kitchen. Wandering around for a while, she ended up in the library. It was quiet and deserted, as it was summertime and most of the other students were outside, on vacation, or just having fun. Most days she wouldn't care about her mutant powers or how much it isolated her but today was not a good day. As a reminder, Jean's laughter echoed through the house and reached her ears. _Why are you still with him?_ She tried to think of a reason but came up empty. Standing there, in the empty library, her heart felt empty too. How could she be with someone, yet feel so alone? Shuffling into a corner as she felt the tears welling into her eyes, she tried hard to hold it back. Another bout of laughter from Jean broke her. A sob tore out of her throat as tears spilled over. After a few minutes, her tears slowed and she wiped her eyes and subsequently, her makeup. Sighing in half irritation and half sadness, she headed back to her room to clean herself up. Luckily, she couldn't hear Jean or Remy as she made her way back to her room.

Fifteen minutes later, she had showered, scrubbed her face clean and was lying in bed, clad in a robe. It was quiet and she wondered again, why she continued to stay with Remy. Granted this is the longest of any sort of relationship for her. They were on month six, she lost count on the breakups, the fights, and the tears; it was a lot of heartache for such a short amount of time. It wasn't just Remy's fault though. She knows she can be difficult, personality wise and on top of that, an out of control mutation prohibiting touch. She was surprised that Remy would stay with her. Like most men, Remy was physical but he wasn't scared to touch her. She, however, was terrified. How could she attempt to try anything physical when there was always some part of her that had to be alert, cautious, and aware of every uncovered portion of skin? Once, she caved to his request and they tried with scarves, she ended up with an unconscious Remy and her exploding everything she touched. Not only that but the Professor had warned her about absorbing too many psyches, she could have another episode like the one that happened when she was in high school. That little warning always came up whenever she began to think about trying anything physical.

A knock on the door broke her from her gloomy thoughts. "Rogue, it's Remy. Yous feelin' ok? Remy saw yous leaving de kitchen in a hurry."

She had a choice, open the door and end their relationship (because she knew that would happen), remain quiet and stuck in the loveless rut they're both trapped in. Catching her reflection in the mirror, and she couldn't help noting how tired she looked and sad. She didn't like being sad.

Getting up, she opened the door and allowed Remy to come inside. She offered him a smile, and he returned it with his signature grin.

"Remy mus' say dat he likes dis robe," he murmured coming close to her, visibly checking her out. Rogue laughed as he tugged on the belt.

"Behave Remy," Rogue scolded, earning a pout from him.

"C'mon Rogue, Remy is dyin' from lack of action. Den he sees yous all sexy like dis, Remy can't ignore dat," he said, his voice getting lower. He was in her personal bubble, close enough where she could feel his hot breath against her cheek. Glancing up at him, his eyes locked with hers and his intense gaze captured her. Mind feeling hazy, she could vaguely feel the belt of her robe being tugged.

 _Imminent death if you let this continue! Danger! Danger! Besides, I thought you were gonna break up with him!_ A great sigh escaped her chest and she pulled away from Remy. A hurt look marred Remy's face before it reverted to neutral.

Sitting on the bed, she patted the spot besides her, which he took. "Remy, you know I do care for you-"

"But yous wanna break up wit him," he finished. "Why?"

She dreaded that question, because she wasn't going to hold anything back. "Remy…we got problems. Lots of problems. From mah skin ta you flirtin' with otha girls. Ah'm sad and angry all tha time and Ah don't wanna be anymore!"

"Remy told yous tha flirtin' is jus' fo fun!" Remy countered.

"Fun fo' ya maybe, but not fo' meh!" she exploded, rising to her feet. "How do ya think it makes meh feel when Ah see ya flirting with Kitty or Jean? Ah feel lahke shit Remy, that's how Ah feel!"

He stood up too, his eyes flashing in anger. "Well den maybe yous should take dat advice!"

"What do ya mean Remy?" Rogue hissed, angry that he would turn this back around on her.

"Oh Scott, yar so funny! I love spendin' time with ya Scott," he mocked, his voice mimicking hers. "All de time Rogue, and Remy sees it along wit everyone else!"

Anger coursed through her, along with shame. Remy was right but she didn't want to admit that fact. "Remy Ah told ya, that me an' Scott are jus' friends!"

"Well dat don' seem like it ta Remy! Always gigglin' whenever he talks, followin' him around like a damn dog! It's pathetic Rogue! An' Scott is never gonna be wit yous, he wit Jean and he would never-"

"Leave her for someone lahke meh, right?" she finished. His words shattered her, and she could feel the imminent onslaught of tears coming. "Ah know Remy, Ah know. It's ova, please leave," she said flatly, pointing toward the door.

She could see the regret in his eyes but they didn't diminish the hurt that his words had caused. "Rogue, I…"

"Ah don' care Remy, get out!" she ended the last part yelling, as tears welled in her eyes. "Please, Ah can't let ya see meh lahke this…"

He gave a resigned sigh and then left. The tears burst forth once she was alone. Deep, body-wracking sobs shook her. She couldn't tell it was because of the breakup or because Remy was right. Maybe it was a little bit of both.

* * *

Someone pounded on her door, waking her up. It was dark now, and even though she must've slept for hours, she was still tired. A dull ache made her head throb but it paled in comparison to the hollowness that filled her body.

"Hey Stripes! The Professor said that ya need to go to the med bay," Logan called from the other side of the door.

"Ok, let meh get dressed!" she shouted back. She grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans and a black long sleeved shirt, quickly throwing them on. Catching her reflection in the mirror, she noted her red, puffy eyes and the hollowness in them. Putting some eye drops in her eyes, she put on black eyeliner after wiping the excess liquid and opened the door.

Logan stood there, clad in his usual white shirt and jeans. He gave her a sniff and asked if she was okay.

Sometimes she hated how keen his senses were and she gave him a scowl. "Ah'm fahne Logan, jus' had a rough day."

Unconvinced, Logan shrugged and began walking. The house was quiet still; she suspected that it was late. "Hank is gonna meet you at the med bay," he stated.

"Why do they want meh?" she asked.

Logan shrugged. "Wasn't told, only told ta get ya. Before ya go, you know ya talk to me about anything right Stripes?"

Regardless of the pain she was feeling, she offered Logan a rare smile. Danger room sessions were still painful and he was crass and has absolutely no tact but Rogue liked Logan. There was no bullshit with him and he always seemed to know when she needed someone to talk (or in Logan's case, sit in silence while drinking a beer) to or an extra danger room session, where they just destroy legions of robots. "Thank ya Logan, maybe after Ah talk ta tha Professor."

He answered with a grunt before heading off to do his rounds. Rogue headed toward the med bay, curious about why they wanted to see her. It wasn't because of her physical; she had that several months ago. She couldn't think of why they would call her down, she had no dealings with Hank or Jean so it wasn't like she had any sort of business down there. Finally arriving at the med bay, Hank greeted her as soon as the elevator doors opened. She returned his greeting with a smile and asked Hank why she was called down.

"Before I explain my dear, we need to take some vitals," Hank explained, gesturing to the empty chair by the hospital bed. Simply going along with Hank, she took a seat. Hank proceeded to take her temperature, blood pressure, checked her eyes and ear, collected a blood sample, and gave her a questionnaire to fill out.

"Again Hank? Ah already filled one of these out during mah last physical," she complained. She didn't like filling out these forms, as many of the questions asked were private and intrusive. Hank didn't answer but gave her that same placating smile that he always gives. Signing in resignation she begin filling out the paperwork, writing in answers, and checking off boxes. It was the same as the previous form she filled out except when she got to the end, where it asked her about her past history, including drug use and sexual history. At this portion she stopped, pointed at the offending questions.

"Seriously Hank, are ya seriously askin' meh these questions. Are these questions really necessary?"

A heavy sigh escaped Hank's lips. The doctor looked tired and Rogue felt a pang for being a pain. "I know it may seem a bit intrusive but…I…guess we must tell you. I have several promising hypotheses about your powers but I need to obtain as much information as I can, including your past before we can conduct any sort of experiment or testing. The questions can be quite intimate but nothing you write will be shared, not even with the Professor, unless you give me permission."

Hearing his explanation, it was unexpected. Besides surprise, she felt something she hadn't in a long time and that was hope. The Professor had promised to help her with her powers but with everything that had happened, it got pushed aside (as it should have). Eventually, she kind of forgot about the Professor's promise but hearing Hank admit that he was going to try to help her made her unbelievably happy and grateful. She thought she was out of tears from the events that happened earlier, but her body produced a few errant droplets.

Hastily wiping them, she tried to smile, to convey how she felt. "Ah…don't know wha ta say Hank…except thanks," she confessed, voice quivering. "May Ah give ya a hug?"

The blue mutant chuckled before spreading his arms open. Rogue practically dove into his arms, and placed her face against his lab coat. Arms encircled her waist, his fur tickled whatever skin it could touch, but she relished it. Rogue was glad to have such a great friends…no…family by her side. She released him first and repeated thanks before heading back to finish her forms.

The first question was about past drug usage. Thinking hard, she listed what she had tried: marijuana, ecstasy (only once), and cocaine (only once). Just writing it down, she felt her cheeks flush in shame. But remembering Hank's promise of confidentiality made her feel better. Next was sexual history but that was easy, none whatsoever. Now thinking about it, she never went beyond that first kiss with Cody and what she attempted with Remy. Before getting sad about her lack of sex life, she tackled the third portion. Her past and her family's past…there wasn't much that she remembered about her birth parents, and Irene never talked about them.

"Done!" she remarked, handing Hank the clipboard. To Hank's credit, he face didn't change at her admission to drug use or the portion about her sex life.

"You don't remember anything about your birth parents Rogue?" Hank questioned, finally looking up at her. "The answer to your problem could come from there."

"Ah don' even remembah a time before Irene takin' care of meh. And anytime Ah asked her about them, she would change tha subject or refuse ta answer tha question."

"Hmm, I'll see if I can find your adoption papers. Or you could try to work with the Professor in uncovering your past and maybe we can find a name," he suggested.

Not eager to have the Professor poke around in her mind, she picked the first option.

"If we can't find anything, we could ask the Professor to help," Hank stated. "Thank you Rogue, for all of this information. I'll send for you once we start testing."

Rogue bade Hank goodnight and headed upstairs. Too amped to sleep, plus a little hungry, she found herself in the kitchen. Making herself a sandwich, she sat on the island after grabbing the chips and her drink. As she bit into her sandwich, she thought about what just happened. Taking off a glove, she gazed at her hand. She had made peace with the fact that she would never be able to touch anyone. To have that hope again…she didn't know how to feel. On one hand, she wanted to feel excited, even happy for herself. On the other, she didn't want to get her hopes up because more often than not, her hopes and dreams were not attainable.

"Rogue? What are you doing up so late?" Scott asked, yawning as he came into the kitchen. "And why did you skip dinner?"

She scrambled to pull on her glove, just as Scott takes a seat next to her. "Jus' came from seein' Hank and Ah was hungry so Ah made myself a sandwich."

"And why did you miss dinner?"

She heaved a sigh, wondering whether to tell him what happened earlier. Remembering Remy's words, her chest tightened in pain. But stronger than the pain was the anger. "Ah broke up with Remy."

"I'm so sorry Rogue."

"It's okay Scott, it was fo' tha best. Me an Remy weren't a good match," she replied honestly. "Ah fell asleep afta that."

His hard covered her gloved one, giving it a squeeze. That was another thing she liked about Scott, he didn't shy away from her. "You can talk to me Rogue whenever you want, I will always be there to listen."

Giving him a small smile, she did an internal happy dance when he left his hand on top of hers. "Thank ya Scott, yar a good friend. Ah'll be okay in time. Besides, Ah got a lot of stuff happenin' in mah life, stuff to keep me busy." Taking her hand back, she busied herself by snacking on some chips

"Why did Hank want to see you?" Scott asked, stealing the chip from her hand and eating it.

"Hands off Summers! This is mah snack," she commented, trying to grab the chip back.

Laughing at her as he licked the chip, he offered the tainted snack back. "Here you go."

"Think that scares meh? Ah lived in the Brotherhood house fo' months with Toad," Rogue stated, grabbing the chip and shoving it in her mouth. "Ah told ya, this is mah snack."

"You're gonna eat the entire Costco size bag of salt and vinegar chips? I doubt you can finish that sandwich!"

Glaring at him, she grabbed the sandwich and polished it off in three bites. After swallowing, she grabbed the chips and cradled it to her chest. "Fahne, Ah'll share some wit' ya."

"So why did Hank want to see you?" he questioned again, while shoving chips into his mouth. "Are you not feeling good?"

Sometimes she hated how persistent he was, and couldn't help sighing again. "Hank is tryin' to help meh, with mah powers." Even though she was going to keep the information to herself, she knew talking to Scott about her problems made her feel better.

"That's awesome news Rogue! But why do you look like someone kicked your puppy?"

"Ah know; it's great news. Ah guess Ah'm scared ta believe that it can happen, especially when Ah've dreamed of it fo' so long. Hope isn't somethang Ah felt in a long time."

"I know the feeling Rogue. When I first got my powers and destroyed everything every time my eyes opened, I had given up hope that I'll ever be able to see again. Even after the Professor explained how my powers worked and how he could help me, I was still wary to give myself that hope." Turning to look at her, he offered a kind smile. "It's okay to feel hope Rogue. I know you'll learn to control your powers one day."

"How do ya know what ta say, every time Ah'm feelin' down? Yar amazing Scott."

Even in the dim light, she could see him blush at her words. "You are too Rogue."

His words made her swell with emotion. Feeling those tears run up again, she turned to throw away her trash. While his words did make her happy, there will always be a lingering pain too. The pain of loving someone that could never love you back. The pain of competing against someone perfect, like Jean. And compared to her, and knowing she would lose every single time. The pain of knowing that despite everything, she couldn't stop herself. She couldn't separate herself from Scott.

"Thank ya Scott fo' yar words, Ah always feel better after talking to you." A partial truth, she would initially feel floating and happy, before reality worked its cruel magic and send her back to reality. And that reality was that Remy's words were true. Scott had Jean, he was happy with Jean, and she was trying to ruin that for him. _I am a horrible person…_ She could feel herself tearing up again, and she pounded the counter in anger and frustration.

"Rogue! What's wrong?" Scott questioned after her sudden display of anger.

Glad to have her back facing him, she willed her tears to stop. Once in control, she took a deep breath. "Ah'm jus' tired Scott, it's been a long day. Thank ya for tha advice," she replied evenly.

She left the perplexed Scott and headed to her room. Once inside the safety of her room, she released a sigh. A storm of emotions was swirling around within her and she didn't know how to feel. It was a whirlwind of a day and she could feel the exhaustion creeping back. Falling into her bed, she gazed at the white ceiling. Before sleep took her, she thought of being able to touch again, being able to kiss someone, and maybe even fall in love.

* * *

Author's Note: I've wanted to write a Scott/Rogue story for a while, and I've been sitting on this idea for a while. As for the final pairings, I haven't decided which pairing to pick (I'm a sucker for Rogue/Remy but I also like non-canon pairings such as Rogue/Scott). The next chapter is halfway done, so I hope to get it up soon.

Leave your comments/thoughts/complaints in a review and thank you for reading

therapist


	2. Aftermath

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men or any Marvel character. I make no money from this; this is purely for enjoyment.

Summary: The façade about most relationships is that you only see what people want to portray but it's never that nice or neat. This looks deeper at those relationships and what happens when it all comes crumbling down.

This takes place several years after the end of the series; most of the original X-Men are 20+, so there will be adult themes in this story, along with swearing, infidelity, and death.

XXXXXXXXXX

 **Path**

' _Aftermath'_

By therapist

Word traveled fast about her breakup with Remy. No one questioned her outright but gave her a wide berth. It was probably due to the last time they had broken up, there was an…incident. After all the women of the mansion came to pester and bombarded with invasive questions - the last straw was when Jubilee asked if she could date Remy. The young woman may have been joking but Rogue made sure that she would think twice before asking such a stupid question again.

The isolation was welcomed though. It gave her time to process all that had happened. Oddly, she didn't feel as bad as when they go through their 'breaks'. Maybe the news of Beast working on her problem dampened the sadness or maybe she was truly over the relationship. All she knew was that on her sadness scale, she was at a 3 at week 1 of their breakup. She saw Remy a few times since, with him ignoring her presence each time. It was better that way, it gave them both time to heal. And for her to work out her other problem, her feelings for Scott. Now that she was unattached, her mind and dreams were filled with possibilities despite her best intentions. The hyper focus on him was driving her mad. And her mind constantly reminded her that the only person she was hurting was herself whenever she indulged in these fantasies about him, fantasies that could never happen. Her mind didn't seem to agree, instead filling her thoughts with how Scott looked, smelled, how he laughed, etc. There was one particular memory that played constantly in her mind. The movie night before her breakup with Remy, how close he sat to her. So close that she could smell his cologne, something woodsy but not too overpowering. It filled her senses, marking it as Scott's scent. She remembered the heat of his body as he sat next to her, how that heat matched the one gathered in the pool of her belly.

Remembering that heat, her hands slid down the sides of her body. She imagined it was Scott's hands, could feel his calloused fingers touching her skin, anxious to feel her. His hands, impatient, slide into her shorts, playing with the hem of her panties before diving into her. A moan tore out of her throat.

Someone knocked on her door, her hand flying out of her pants. "Rogue? Ya in there?" Scott asked. "It's Tuesday." Cursing his timing, she took a few deep breaths to calm her down and to temper her frustration. _Just when it was getting good_.

Once composed enough, she answered the door. That damn cologne invaded her senses again and she allowed herself to take a deep breath. "Ya, it's movie day today...Ah don't feel too good Scott..." She responded, trying not to ogle him. It being summertime, Scott opted for a white tank with khaki board shorts. She was never into muscly men but Scott was not overly muscular. His muscle came from constant danger room sessions, making him fit and lithe. But what fascinated her the most were his arms. They were thick, well defined even when he wasn't flexing. There was a clear definition from his biceps and triceps, it made curves along his arms that she wanted to touch and lick. She could see those strong arms lifting her up, pushing her against the wall, his strong thighs between hers, making her legs splay. Those fingers running up and down her sides, while he ground himself against her, feeling his hardness.

"Yeah, you do look a little flush Rogue. Do you have a fever?" He asked, coming close to her.

 _Busted!_ Coughing, she backed away, embarrassment flushing through her. _Damn my overactive hormones._ "Ah'm fahne Scott but imma have ta skip this week." She found the wall fascinating, her eyes gazing at the wood paneling. She could feel his gaze, but kept her gaze focused on the wall.

Hands on her covered arms brought her focus back to him, to his concerned face. "What's wrong?"

Any other time, she would've relished this sort of attention, the _concern_. Now, it just made it harder to extricate herself from him. "Ah jus' need some time ta mahself," she answered. It wasn't a lie, but not to get over Remy but to finally rid herself of this pathetic crush. "Ya know...ta get ova Remy."

 _Liar!_

"You know I found that talking to a friend helps you know," he offered.

She wanted to scream in frustration. "Thank ya for tha offer but Ah think Ah need some tahme alone," she stated before stepping back, away from his touch and closing the door. Seeing his concerned and hurt expression was hard, she wanted to rip the door open and apologize. But the door remained closed and she hated how much it hurt. It wasn't like it was Scott's fault she developed feelings. She didn't know how to how to be his friend and not pine after him. Time was the only solution she could think of and she hoped that he would still be her friend in the end.

Her phone blipped as she received a text. Going over to her phone, she saw it was Remy texting her.

 _Remy: Can we talk?_

Sighing, it was right on schedule for them. They would break up and someone (usually her) would come crawling back to the other. She didn't want to follow the same roundabout path because it always led to the same outcome. Fingers hovered over the phone's keyboard but she didn't respond, instead she placed the phone down. Not wanting to say the wrong thing, she decided to not say anything at all. The phone blipped again and she couldn't stop herself from reading the text.

 _Remy: I miss you_.

Those words should've made her happy...giddy...she felt none of that. In its place, she felt mild irritation. Figuring that he wouldn't stop until she replied, she responded honestly.

 _Rogue: I don't think that's a good idea Remy. Just give me some space._

She let out a sigh when her phone remained silent. Despite her initial lack of sadness, she could feel the some of it creep back but it was expected. Instead of dwelling on her sadness, she pulled on her jacket. She needed to get out. There were too many things, people, emotions here. Checking her makeup and appearance and satisfied, she left her room. The mansion was bustling with activity, as it was the afternoon. Not looking forward to talking to anyone, she headed toward the bathroom. It was empty and she closed the door behind her. Opening the only window, she poked her head outside. This side of the mansion was empty usually but she wanted to be sure. Hoisting herself onto the windowsill, she grabbed the drainpipe that was located to the left of the window with her right hand and lowered slowly while her left hand clutched the ledge. Her muscles strained as she released her left hand then quickly grabbed the drain, while wrapping her legs around the pipe. Slowly, she descended, her pace slow despite how much her muscles burned. Sweat sprung up and her breath came out in puffs. She knew she had to go slowly, the last time she was careless and fell. Didn't hurt too badly except for bruised ribs, tailbone, and pride. When she was about eight feet from the ground, she released the pipe, grunting as her knees bore the brunt on the fall. Giving herself a breath, she sighed as she escaped without injury or detection.

Hurrying toward the gate, she cursed as someone called her name. Turning around, she huffed as Logan arched an eyebrow at her.

"Where ya goin' Stripes?" Complete with disapproval all over his face and folded arms. The patented 'Logan' look.

"Out, or is that not allowed?" She countered.

"Then why climb down the drain instead of usin' the front door? Or do you enjoy danglin' twenty feet in the air?"

"Ah jus' wanted to avoid tha crowd. Ah don't feel lahke talkin' ta anyone today."

"Look kid, I know ya havin' a hard time with all that happened with the Cajun but nothin' gets solved by avoidin' the problem."

"Really Logan, yar lecturin' meh on avoidance?"

That got him to chuckle. "Let's just say I have a lot of experience on that topic." He sighed. "Just be back at a decent hour."

"Yes mother."

He didn't respond to her jab minus an arched eyebrow before heading back to the mansion. She exited the grounds and headed toward town. The day was hot and she hated how covered up she felt when she passed by people in tanks and shorts. Decked in jeans, with a shirt and jacket, she received looks as she trekked along, sweat dripping over her face. Summer was always a hard time but a recent heat wave made it unbearable.

Bayville library was her destination. It was usually quiet and empty, just as she liked. Seeing the building off in the distance, she sighed in relief, thinking of the cool AC awaiting her. Indeed, she let out a content sigh as the cool air brushed against her sweat-covered body.

She waved at the librarian before heading deeper inside the library. Like before, it was empty. With so much information available online, libraries were becoming relics of the past but Rogue still loved going it. The feel of books, the smell of old paper, it was a sanctuary for her. It was here that she could be herself, let down her usual mask. No one bothered her and she has never seen anyone she knew.

'Her' desk in the corner was empty (as usual) and she discarded her jacket, sighing in relief as the cool air hit her arms. Maybe this was another reason why she enjoyed the library. It was empty enough that she didn't have to cover up.

Heading to the front desk, she noticed a stack of books on the side. "These need to be put back?" She asked the librarian, Jan.

The older lady smiled. "If you don't mind Rogue."

Rogue shook her head before picking up the stack. Going into auto drive, she began putting the books away, while checking out random titles that caught her interest. Right now, she was into horror, mainly Stephen King and Jack Ketchum, but it doesn't stop her from reading other books. She enjoyed reading and learning, and though she had postponed college (for now), she kept her mind sharp by reading as much as possible. Glancing at the chemistry textbook, noting how thick it was, she grabbed it and placed it aside.

"Don't think I've seen you here before," a voice interrupted as she whirled around, books skewing all over.

She winced in embarrassment at the ruckus and almost hitting the guy. "Shit, Ah'm sorry!" she blurted as she grabbed the books. The man knelt to help her, hand reaching close to her body. Instinctively, she scrambled away.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Heart thudding at the close call, she muttered her rehearsed line about skin sensitivity. The man accepted her fib and apologized again as she picked up the last of the books.

"It's okay, it was mah fault. Ah used ta come here all tha tahme but haven't been hea recently. It's been..." She pauses to think. "Several months since Ah've been hea."

"Ah, that's why. I've only been here for two months. The name's Chris." He extended his hand, which she tentatively shook. "Came from California to visit some family and then decided to stay here."

"That's nice, family is important," she responded, trying not to sound too bitter. Family was still a sore topic for her, despite gaining a new one with the X-Men. Knowing that those that raised and cared for her were just using her for her powers, it was hard not to feel bitter. That thought tainted every happy memory. Not wanting to dwell on those unhappy thoughts, she asked him what he thought of Bayville.

"It's not home but Bayville is interesting. I miss going to the beach though. What about you? I can tell by your accent that you're from the south. Do you ever miss it?"

She shrugged. "Some aspect sure. Lahke tha sweet tea, some good ol' Creole cooking but mah home is hea now."

Chris noticed the chemistry textbook on the side. "Are you going to college? I'm going next semester at the local community college."

"Ah no. Ah got thangs Ah need ta do before I start."

"That's too bad, it would've been nice to see a familiar and pretty face."

She coughed at his words, feeling her face heat up. _Is he flirting?_ Honestly, she didn't know. Between having really attractive female friends and her resting bitch face, she usually wasn't the first to be approached by guys.

"I'll let you get back to your job but it was nice meeting you...sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Oh, sorry, it's Rogue."

He contemplated her name before he nodded. "Rogue, I like it. I'll see you around then?"

She nodded and he left, and she blinked several times in shock. She watched as he went back to his table, books and papers scattered messily.

 _Nice ass..._

She chided herself for noticing that but it was quite nice. Chuckling softly, she finished her work with a smile on her face. Despite herself, she watched as Chris studied intently, scribbling down notes and muttering to himself. Seeing him engrossed in his work, she went back to her desk and skimmed through the chemistry textbook. Deciding she was going to study this subject next, she went to the front desk.

"Chemistry is next I see," Jan commented, as she signed her out. "I was never good at sciences but I know you'll do just fine."

Rogue smiled at her warmly. Considering how cold Jan was with her in the beginning, this was a huge improvement. "Thanks Jan. Ah hope so cause Ah'm thinkin' of goin' back ta school one day an' Ah don' wanna be rusty."

The librarian nodded sagely. "It's important but don't forget to have some fun too Rogue." Her eyes traveled to the desk where Chris was studying. "He's pretty cute and I've never seen him talk to anyone before."

Rogue chanced a glance back at him. His head was hunched, making his dark hair blanket most of his face. "Ya, he's pretty alright. But Ah, sadly, don' think Ah'm his type."

Jan shrugged. "You never know Rogue. Actually, before you go, could you just return this last book?" She handed her a thick encyclopedia. Rogue nodded before heading to the far corner of the library.

Before she left, she bade the librarian goodbye and promised to return next week. The older lady nodded before going back to her work. She thought about saying goodbye to Chris but decided against it, opting to leave without looking back. While their brief interaction had made her day, her week actually, she told herself that there was no way that he was flirting with her and it was just him being friendly. Because honestly, who'd want to be with her.

Her trip back was much more pleasant once the sun disappeared across the horizon. Once again, she avoided the front door, opting to enter through the back and hoping that from the kitchen, she could head straight to her room without running into anyone. Luck was not with her.

As she tiptoed to the stairwell, Remy appeared at the top. He looked...handsome. Indeed, Remy was 'dressed' up, which meant he abandoned his usual getup for a button up shirt and jeans. Remy was one of those people that could wear a trash bag and still be considered hot. It was kind of unfair. While his shirt and jeans weren't tight, it was fitted, displaying his toned body, a body she liked very much. Shaking her head from those thoughts, she noted how his eyes lingered on her as she walked closer to him. She didn't say anything but gave him a small smile, one he didn't return. Feeling disappointed at his snub, she clutched her book closer to her.

"Rogue."

Her feet stopped and she looked back to him. In his hand, he held a small piece of paper. Confused, she grabbed it. As her eyes read the note, her eyes widened in surprise and horror.

 _It was really nice meeting you Rogue! Here's my number, no pressure but I'd like to talk to you again. Chris_

And sure enough, beneath the neat writing was a phone number scribbled. What sort of rom-com movie scene had she entered? Or maybe this was some sort of retribution for being a bitch her earlier years. All she knew was this could not have happened at a worst time. She glanced at Remy, whose face was cold. She opened her mouth to explain but nothing came out and he soon left after that, leaving her on the top of the stairs, looking like a stupid fish with her mouth flapping open and shut. Her eyes caught the tightness of his lips and she could feel the anger emitting from him. She knew what it looked like to him, and could understand his anger.

A heavy sigh left her lips as the front door slammed with his exit. Though they weren't together, she still felt guilty. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Remy anymore than she already has. Deciding to talk to him once he came home, she headed back to her room, note still clutched tightly in her fist.

Once in her room, she set her things down, the chemistry book on her desk, and she placed the note on her desk. She didn't know what to do with it. She was still in shock.

 _When did he…oh, it must've been when - oh, that crafty bitch was on his side the whole time!_ She knew it was unusual for Jan to ask her to put away only one book, especially when she was leaving. Sitting down, she gazed at the neat handwriting, her face flushing as she kept reading it repeatedly. This was the first time she had ever been given a number.

 _Is it always like this?_ Her heart was beating fast, she knew she was blushing, and her stomach was all fluttering. It was reminiscent of the beginning of her relationship with Remy. _Before everything went to shit._ Half of her wanted to contact him, the other half wanted to throw away that paper. _What if you saw him again?_ She'd feign ignorance, like she lost the damn thing. _Coward._ She was a coward.

She ended up throwing away the paper eventually. She had just broken up with Remy and there was really no point in pursuing a relationship when her skin was poison. If she did see him again, she would lie and pretend like she didn't see/get the note. She hoped she wouldn't see him again though because in spite of her decision, there was a large part of her that wanted to call him.

" _Deep breath Rogue, I will be accessing your mind soon."_

 _Rogue let out a puff of breath and Xavier placed his hands near her temple. He must've entered her mind because Rogue slumped slightly in her chair._

" _Hank, I've entered her mind and have control over her body now. Logan, prepare for the test."_

 _While he begins to take notes, Logan extended his hand toward Rogue. Charles made her grasp his hand and Hank watched in amazement as Logan grasped Rogue's bare hand without consequence. After a minute of contact without any sort of reaction, Charles pulled out of Rogue's mind._

 _Logan grunted as Rogue's power activated and Rogue gasped as she yanked her hand away._

 _Charles looked at Logan, then Rogue, finally to Hank. "It seems like it is psychological."_

That was his first theory. That her powers and inability to control them were due to her mind like psychosomatic manifestations. He hypothesized that her mind had cemented the idea that she couldn't control her powers, that any attempt would fail. That bias could prevent her from ever achieving control. And each time she had failed, it reinforced the notion that control was not possible.

To test it, Charles suggested he would control her body briefly and activate her powers. Charles didn't carry Rogue's bias and believed that if it were psychological, he could control her power.

Even though they did confirm their answer, helping Rogue achieve control would be still difficult. While Charles would work with Rogue, he turned to science for help. In addition to her mental block, there may be something biological that prevented her from controlling her powers, as in the case with Scott. And there may be a scientific solution to her problem. However, unlike Scott's problem, he didn't have a starting point to help him. There were so many factors that could prevent control and he knew it was going to be near impossible to find an answer.

However, for now, he was analyzing Rogue's blood. Glancing at the numbers, he could see that it was within normal ranges, with a slightly elevated WBC but he knew that was due to her fighting off the remnants of a virus. Once he finished scanning, he paused to rub his eyes. This was day number two without sleep and he could feel the fatigue building up in his body. And it was looking like he would be up for another day as well. All-nighters were something he was used to but this problem was stressing him out harder. It was perhaps due to his personal investment in solving this problem, his feelings for the young woman.

Though Rogue's inability to touch was similar to Scott's limitations with his eyes however, the solution was clouded. Though he loathes admitting, there may be no solution. _No.I mustn't think that_. A life without touch, without any sort of contact or intimacy...it was too harsh especially for someone that has suffered so much already. Hank wanted to help her, wanted to give her something to counterbalance all of the horrible things that had happened to her. And he knew that if he found the answer, this could help others that were suffering just like Rogue.

Though her blood work hadn't revealed any new information, there were other tests he could run on her blood. Thankfully, Charles had purchased new equipment on par with those working in research facilities. With this new equipment, he hoped it would give him more answers. He glanced at his new 'toy', his ion trap liquid chromatography mass spectrometer. He placed the sample and began the process.

While waiting for the sample to be analyzed, he decided to grab some coffee in the kitchen. And lo and behold, Rogue was in there, creating herself a sandwich from the evidence.

"Hank! Nice ta see ya out of tha lab."

Pouring himself a cup, he sat across from her. "I am waiting for some samples to be analyzed. I do have some questions if you can spare some time Rogue."

Finishing her creating her sandwich, she nodded before putting everything back. "Sure thang Hank. Want meh ta pop into tha lab?"

He nodded before leaving the kitchen. When Rogue came down, sans sandwich, Hank had polished off his coffee and was trying to occupy himself while he waited.

"Maybe Ah should get mah own little corner since Ah'm hea so much," Rogue chimed with a smile.

He knew that many avoid this part of the mansion and Rogue was no exception. Though she was a much more cooperative than some of the other people...Logan came to mind. Hank had to threaten his beer supply to get the man down to do a physical.

He gave a light chuckle. "We might have to do that dear. However, for now, I do have some questions while I wait." Gesturing to his small table, he sat in his chair while Rogue sat opposite of him. Grabbing her chart, he flipped to a blank page. "As you know, I'm researching into your powers Rogue but I will be frank, it is going to be hard to find a solution."

At his words, she deflated, her body sagging slightly. Hank cursed. While he wanted to spare her any further pain, he had an obligation to report realistic expectations. He wished he could deliver good news every time but he knew that he didn't live in that type of world.

"Not to say that it's impossible," he added. "I just wanted you to know what to expect realistically. I know it may seem hard but try to not be discouraged because I will not give up."

She nodded before perking up, her face determined.

"If you remember our previous conversation, about your birth parents. If you remember anything about your past before you were adopted, it could help me immensely."

Rogue grimaced. "Ah don' 'member much of mah childhood. Tha last tahme we talked got meh thinkin' and Ah remember Ah had an aunt Carrie."

Hank scribbled down that tidbit of information. There wasn't anything in her adoption papers about relatives, in fact, there was a lot missing from those documents. He could only guess that someone - Mystique most likely - had bribed or threatened someone.

Rogue cleared her throat and Hank looked up from his notes. Clearly, she was struggling with something and Hank gave her a gentle smile - the 'Doctor' smile Kitty had dubbed it. "Ah haven't told anyone yet but mah name is Anna Marie." The last part was mumbled but he caught everything. This was a revelation and he felt his eyebrows jump up in response. Granted, he didn't think Rogue was her real name but had never guessed that she _knew_ or that she would _willingly_ divulge such information.

"I believe Anna derived from Hannah, meaning grace or graciousness. Which you have in spades my dear. It's a beautiful name."

A blush dusted her cheeks before she flashed him a grateful smile. "Thanks Hank. It's not somethang Ah usually share...with anyone."

"This information will remain between us. If you wish to share it with someone particular, you need only say. However, I do believe we have had enough questions for today. With this new information, I may be more successful in the search for your relatives."

Rogue smiled and thanked him again before departing. While his samples were still being analyzed, he strode over to his computer. _Hopefully this new information will provide some answers._

Next chapter preview: more Scott/Rogue interaction, while Rogue does her damndest to avoid Remy. Hank discovers something that could lead to some answers.

therapist


End file.
